How many years have you spent replaying situations over and over in your head wondering if things were misinterpreted? Wondering if you said something in the wrong tone? Wondering if someone will still love, accept, and care for you if you don’t get it just right?
Have you stayed up late countless nights worrying you didn’t get it perfect? Have you trapped yourself in negative thoughts about things that no one actually even notices? Have you worried endlessly about things that are completely out of your control? Have you set unrealistic standards only to procrastinate in taking action because you’re paralyzed by fear of failure?
And yet, you keep focusing on your lack of results... Yeah, I’ve been there.
You see, for years I was trapped in this mindset of not being worthy enough, whilst also being incredibly successful in my day-to-day. Welcome to the trap of perfectionism.
If you ride it out, it can take you far. So far. Heck, if you manage it in a healthy manner it can be your ticket to success. Or, it can also take you straight into the centre of a crumbling bridge between living authentically for you and living someone else’s dream authentically. Because you see, when you set your mind to something you can always achieve it. I know, because I’ve been there. I’m just like you.
I’ve been through the climb. I’ve been through the burnout.
What I forgot about along the way was myself. The woman within me that was dying to be heard. Dying to be seen. Dying to be validated. I quieted her voice. I perfected her appearance. I sharpened her skillsets and I awoke her emotional intelligence, but I left behind her passion.
So why did I leave behind her passion you ask?
Well, I wanted to check all of the boxes. I wanted to buy a house, buy a car, climb the ladder, hit six figures, travel, get married, and have a baby. And then, just then, I would feel fulfilled. I would live. I would feel passionate about all I did because I had made it.
But the funny thing about that is, when I got there, it wasn’t as great as I had dreamed. The best part of absolutely every minute in the life I had dreamed of and achieved was the time spent with my family and the time spent following my passion (which I didn’t have a ton of time for).
And then there was that burning desire for more that was always there nudging me to take the next step, but at the same time, I was exhausted.
And then, life gave me two choices: stretch or be stretched. And I decided that I’d had enough.
It was time to stretch my own wings and fly. It was time to stop living in the comfort and security of a 9-5 and time to start following my dreams. To fulfill my passion. To follow my heart. To feed my soul.
It was scary. Really scary. They say life changes of this nature can throw you into a grieving period and trust me when I say it did. I had built my life around the career I thought I wanted. It was part of my identity. It was like breaking up with myself.
But I pushed through it. In fact, I turned down a job offer I received the day I left my 9-5. I responded to countless emails and texts from wonderful leaders letting them know their offerings just weren’t the right fit for me at this time. I caved once. Out of the desire to please a very kind and supportive soul, I agreed to interview for a position that truly aligned with the vision I once had. But when I got to the interview, my energy just wasn’t there. It was focused on building what I had envisioned for so long and never taken the time to do. I begged the universe not to give me the job in fear my ego would get the best of me and I’d hop right back on the secure 9-5 train.
I dove deep into my passions. Investing in myself in the way I had always dreamed of. Lighting an intense fire that will always need tending to, but one that had nearly been extinguished and had been barely smoldering for years.
And that was the moment I started to awaken the woman within. I found my peace. I focused on my own personal healing and traumas. I released my mindset of not being worthy and started stepping into who I was always destined to be. I decided I wanted to extend my table instead of buying a nicer one. And that my dear, is what led me here to you.
It only recently hit me just how much I had suffocated the woman within. I grabbed some old books I had fallen in love with 10+ years ago and realised that I had a burning desire to sit with them again. And with them, all of the beliefs and strengths I had worked so hard to foster and develop that had been suffocated by my ego and the dreams the world had for me instead of the dreams I had for myself.
So if you’re out there in this medium of wanting to jump, but being afraid to fall...know that you are not alone. Your calling is waiting for you. You are capable and worthy of everything you have ever dreamed of and more than you can ever imagine. Falling is a risk and vital part of the climb. All you have to do is stand back up again.
Know that no matter what anyone says to you, you can do it. You will have your supporters, your worriers, and your naysayers. It’s just the reality of the situation. But you must push past the worries and the negativity to unlock your potential. You must heal. You must grow. You must get used to being outside of your comfort zone. Because that my dear, is where you will thrive and find your higher purpose.
I’ve always been intrigued at how the rare few make something out of nothing. How some are so comfortable in the mundane. How some desire and achieve greatness that is beyond imaginable.
And if you’re reading this and you believe you are destined for something greater but are not actively pursuing it...I must ask, why?
Why not you? Why not now? Why not?