Drunk and not in love with the feeling

So life has slowly opened back up again.


You know what that means, don’t you? Overpriced gin and tonics please! Until I go home bloated and fuzzy headed ending up with slower reflexes and zero productivity the next day.

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I’m not anti alcohol, no whey!, I’m very much fond of a bottomless brunch, my Instagram will tell you that.


But lately I’ve been battling with the feeling that alcohol is leaving me with.


Not only does this make me feel rubbish physically - we’re talking sluggish, tired, basically the human embodiment of a sloth. It’s also making me feel rubbish mentally. Angst, paranoia - we’ve all experienced hangxiety.


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It’s taking its tolllllll. And I ain’t even that rock and roll!

(to put it in a rhyme).


But seriously, I’m not even that much of an alcohol lover. Which is why my ability to binge drinks on the weekend because "I just like the feeling of being drunk" is a bit - ew?

Like, when did my body become a trash can?


What’s next? Empty all the sewers of the street in my stomach too so long as it provides me a 'high in my head'?

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I’m laughing now as I’m being dramatic, but you catch my drift.


Don’t get me wrong, there are certain aspects of alcohol I enjoy.


I love going out and having fun first and foremost, I really quite enjoy a sugary cocktail (mojito, anyone?) and I definitely enjoy the confidence it gives me. Everyone is cuter once I’ve had a drink or nine.


To summarise everything, I love a porn star martini as much as the next girl. I really do. And I won’t be giving up alcohol any time soon.


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But I've got to learn to lead a more balanced lifestyle because I truly want to be the best version of myself.


I’ve always been that girl *roll eyes*.


The girl who cares to work on herself, and become her ideal woman. And that ‘dream me’ knows how to enjoy herself when she is out, but ultimately chugging jagerbombs 5 days a week isn’t cutting it as self care.


So I want to prioritise my health.


I want to commit to that self care lifestyle more than ever, and more than that - I want to commit to the self respect lifestyle where I prioritise my boundaries, and my declaration towards myself and my happiness, over any form of conformity or peer pressure.


Screw doing things that make you feel poorly in yourself for other people.

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I highly admire people that take up the sobriety lifestyle. For whatever reason it is, it must have an awful lot of challenges when the norm is to drink your way through celebrations.


Anybody that has enough conviction in their actions to follow through with something for their own investment is badass and I wanna be you!


So I’m about to embark on a clean eating, body loving, soul worshipping week. We will see how far I get. Well, I know exactly how far I’m going because I have an engagement party on Saturday and a festival on Sunday. Oooppppssss.


Still - it’s not about drastic restriction. It’s about better choices here and there. And doing what you want to do above all.


Whether that’s downing a bottle of prosecco, or ordering the Diet Pepsi - you’re incredible whether you’re drunk or not.


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