The time has come and you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself. It’s a mixed bag of emotions and you’re scrambling to just remain calm, remain poised and remain unaffected.
But let’s face it - your ex has got a new girlfriend, and it sucks.
So what’re you going to do about it?
We don’t mean in the Jazmine Sullivan sense of busting windows out of anybody’s car, but in the way you move forward from what some might consider to be an emotional setback on the road to a new relationship.
Because it should’ve been you first, right? We always want to be the one to move on before they do, to show that you’re perfectly ok without them and doing better without them.
If you’re the one who had your heart broken and haven’t found anyone since, but they have, It’s a kick in the teeth. You start to wonder if you’ll find anyone again at all.
Maybe this… maybe that… maybe...
Don’t worry hun, you’re not alone in your thoughts.
Instead you have to breathe deep and focus on the positives. Let’s not forget that ‘everything happens for a reason’, the age-old irritating saying you hear time and time again after a break-up but which is ultimately true… otherwise you’d still be together.
So here are five tips to help you get over an ex, whilst they get under someone new:
Shut your eyes, inhale, exhale. Repeat. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment and let your emotions take over, but don’t waste your breath.
2. Delete them on social media
Weirdly, easier said than done. You want to keep an eye on things they post, even when it makes you feel worse when they finally post a loved-up selfie with their new beau - it’s the same reason why you haven’t deleted them yet. You hate to look, but you can’t look away.
It’s not petty to delete someone out of your life; if anything, it’s going to feel so refreshing. Out of sight out of mind. You might want to just block them for a while - see how long it is until you realise you haven’t thought about them in a few days. You can always unblock, if you really want, but that could turn into another unhealthy habit.
3. Turn off social media
So Facebook has popped up with the killer notification: ‘so and so is in a relationship with x y z.’
Do not - we repeat - do not go on a social stalker deep dive of their new partner. Turn off your phone or close your laptop lid and just put them away for the next five, ten or fifteen minutes. The longer the better whilst you give yourself time to process.
We’re not saying you can’t social stalk later on, but before you instantly start comparing everything about them to yourself, just give yourself a chance before making any moves.
This particular tip comes from personal experience and how it helped me through a similar situation. Well - the exact situation, let’s be honest with one another.
Exercise can give you a real purpose from day to day. It does take a bit of a mental switch to get into the swing of things, but once you find your niche routine for regular workouts or a consistent form of exercise - the effect on your mental health is second to none. It forces you to map out your days and organise your life and, best of all, it’s a healthy way of handling change.
Just be careful to maintain a balance between exercise, food and still letting yourself enjoy life.
Plus, alright it might be shallow, but we can’t not mention the fact that feeling good and feeling like you look good go hand in hand. Which leads on to...
5. Remind yourself that you are enough
Take a look in the mirror and remind yourself that you deserve someone who makes you happy, who tells you they love you every day, who understands your needs as your own individual person and who - if it was meant to be - would be in your life right now.
However you find yourself coping with this type of news is absolutely OK. Your friends will be there for you, if you let them be, but at the end of the day it’s your job to choose how to move forward if you’re struggling.
So your ex has a new girlfriend... seriously, so what?