We’ve all been told no before and experienced the sinking chest feeling that comes with that. Again??? Will I ever hear a yes???
Whether it’s a job interview, a breakup, or an RSVP decline to your party, you’re left feeling pretty damn rejected and it takes the wind out of your sails for a hot minute or two.
In some cases, no means NO. I’m talking about consent and sex first and foremost, and it goes without saying that you should always respect somebody’s boundaries when told no, whatever the situation.
But when it comes to your career and bountiful rejection letters and emails, this is what the no is really telling you: not right now, darling.
Do you want to know what I’ve learnt to do with that no? I use it to motivate me to be better.
I see it as NO-TIVATION.
See what I did there? I am pleased with that one. When I receive a no now, it genuinely throws me into power mode and makes me want to work twice as hard so I can come back twice as strong. Why? I want the person who declined me to RUE THE DAY!!!!!!
Jokes, what I mean to say is that I genuinely welcome any excuse for self-improvement, and I’m sure you can agree with me when I say that you never work harder than when you’re trying to prove something.
Wow, they just keep coming today, don't they!
Don’t get me wrong, life isn’t about proving anybody anything when it comes to your worth (you know it and that's what counts!), it’s about proving to yourself that you will never give up despite the circumstances.
That my friend, is character.
If it's what you really want, it won't be too difficult to get back up and go again because you'll already be in love with the process. That's not just the end result of attaining the goal, that's everything from the start point to the middle point to the feeling of hearing YES.
Look at the Notre Dame, it got burnt down and it still shows. You can choose to look at that as a broken and tired remnant of something that used to be, or you can look at it as strong, proud and still standing despite the knocks.
It tells a better story now. One of grit, passion, determination, and sheer acceptance followed by non-acceptance.
What does that mean? That means thanking the person for the no, going home and accepting the no, then waking up the next day and getting to work on the yes. Because you don’t do nos darling, you do not right nows ;)
One of these days the Notre Dame is going to be fully rebuilt and sparkling and the generations to come won’t be able to guess what it went through without making the effort to read the signpost. And that is the magic of being knocked down, it makes you even more proud of yourself when you look back at how far you have come.
It's more satisfying when you have to work for it, that's how life works! So don't just build yourself back, build yourself back even better than you were before.